Friday, April 27, 2012

Autumn's turning 5

Autumn will be 5 in a couple of weeks. I always get teary eyed when I talk about Autumn. I don't know what it is. Even if I am talking to Drew I get emotional. He says it's because I love her so much, and while that's true- I still wonder why water works begin when I converse about her. She made me a mother. She bears the name that I always dreamed my child would have. She is beautiful, talented, smart, and kind. And she's mine.

When Autumn was an infant she was so incredibly difficult, I cried a lot those first 4 months. :) Then she was fine, and was a normal developing child- hitting milestones and I was enjoying being a mom on a different level. Then the terrible 2's hit, which were very very hard, and I cried a lot. Then came the 3's and there was a beautiful intervention- her preschool. Her coping skills became stronger, her communication barrier was diminishing and our relationship was getting better. Then came turning 4 and it was like a whole new child. :) Now she's almost 5 and it keeps getting better. She has truly gotten better with age!

I think I cry and get emotional when I talk about Autumn because those first few years all I did was cry, I was so confused and worried about what she needed and she was always so demanding of my time and emotions- and I cried a lot. So I still cry- I get teary eyed when I have a wonderful meeting with Autumn's teacher, I get misty eyed when I relay the information to my family. And shockingly enough- I cry when I really sit down and think about her going to Kindergarten next year. I have been so anxious for Autumn to go to school all day- but now my baby girl has really grown up, and I know I will miss her.

She's what I wanted so badly for so long. When I wrote papers in school about what I wanted to be when I grew up I talked about her. We were only married 3 months and I was telling Drew I wanted a baby...and she came 3 days after our anniversary. She has helped shape and mold me into who I am today. She took me from being "April" and turned me into "mommy", "mom", & "momma." All these tears, are exactly why Drew says they're there...because I love her so much, and can't imagine our family without her.


Cindy Ardis said...

That is abeautiful story! I love the picture, thanks for including that in your blog! I love her too very much and know what a challenge she was for you. But you did it! You helped mold her into the confident well adjusted child she is today! Motherhood is always challenging, but nothing is more rewarding! With Mothers Day approaching that is a wonderful story reminding all Mothers, why we do what we do!

Rebel said...

I get misty eyes everytime I mention Brooklyn as well. I never thought I would have one- and I still can't believe she is here.. and that she is perfect. I love you girl.